![]() “I only accept and pay attention to feedback from people who are also in the arena. On the other hand, the source of the feedback isn’t entirely irrelevant.Īs research professor and author Brené Brown puts it: If so, you might be reacting to the person and not the feedback itself. Separate the content from the relationship:Ĭonsider whether your reaction to the feedback might be different if it had come from a different person. “What I’m hearing is… Is that what you meant?”Ģ. When you first receive the feedback, take a moment to check that you have correctly interpreted it before you respond: Have you have correctly understood what the person giving the feedback intended? Valuable feedback can easily be lost in translation as it passes through the filters of our existing beliefs and assumptions. ![]() You’ll have to read the book to find out! In the meantime, here are some tips to help you to accept feedback more gracefully (than a punch in the stomach):ġ. How should you respond to critical feedback? In other words, being aware of the triggers can help us to process feedback and manage our response to it. As the authors note: “Our triggers are obstacles because they keep us from engaging skilfully in the conversation.” It’s not that we’re wrong to be affected by these triggers. Identity triggers: when the feedback challenges the way we see ourselves Relationship triggers: when we react to the person giving us the feedbackģ. Truth triggers: when the feedback seems to be “just plain wrong”Ģ. Heen and Stone, who (with Bruce Patton) also wrote the book Difficult Conversations, describe three ‘triggers’ that can leave us feeling like the wind has been knocked out of us.ġ. In Thanks for the Feedback, Professors Sheila Heen and Doug Stone of Harvard University write about “the art of receiving feedback well… even when it is off-base, unfair, poorly delivered, and frankly, you’re not in the mood”. ![]() With so much focus on giving effective feedback, there has been scant attention paid to how it is received – until recently. So how can we make the experience of receiving feedback more palatable? On the other hand, leadership expert Ken Blanchard says that feedback is “the breakfast of champions”. It can be unexpected and unpleasant, and it can lead us to react in ways that are unpredictable and potentially damaging to our credibility and reputation. Receiving critical feedback – whether in everyday conversation or a formal performance review – can hit us hard. And it also serves as a useful analogy for grown-ups. Recalling that incident almost three decades on, it clearly left a longer-lasting impression on my mind than the one the basketball made on my stomach. In that breathless moment, my reaction was completely involuntary. If I’d known any profanities back then, I’m sure I would have used them. In my defence, I was eight years old and playing ‘line tiggy’ on a basketball court at school. It knocked the wind right out of me, and I instinctively yelled: “I’m going to tell my mother on you!” I was once hit in the stomach with a basketball that I didn’t see coming. this satisfying book leaves the reader feeling grateful to be alive." (Quill & Quire)"Here is a writer who knows how to put people together on the page and let the sparks fly: passages between Spat and an older, fellow alcoholic he encounters at a recovery meeting are drawn with the delicacy and barbed wit of a good inner- city vignette from The Wire.How do you manage your reaction to something that hits you when you’re least expecting it? Ed Macdonald is a gripping writer." (Alistair MacLeod, author of No Great Mischief, winner of the IMPAC Dublin Literary Award)"This excellent debut novel combines gutsy language and a relentless, engaging plot with one of the most chaotic but loveable protagonists in recent CanLit. The style is electrifying and there are images that will burn in the reader's mind forever. ![]() Newly divorced and out of control, his decision to tell all and release himself from the past unleashes a storm of change in both his internal and external life.Spat the Dummy is a confession-raw and unrestrained, a modern-day Hero's journey to the Underworld and back, a novel about changing history by confronting it.Praise for Spat the Dummy:"This novel is unforgettable both for its subject matter and its form of narration. ![]() A chance meeting with an old friend of his father's in a bar on the Main exposes the dark secret they've both been harbouring, the secret that has shaped and defined Spat's tumultuous life. Raised in Montreal by a bagman for the Irish mob, Spat has fictionalized or ignored chunks of his life too painful to recall. They haunt him by day and share his drink at night. ![]()
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